I am 26 years old and wt 198 ht 5'7 I just feel horrible about myself and what I've become.I cant look in the mirrior anymore afraid of whats lookin back.I seperated myself from all my friends and the things I once enjoyed. My life seems completely worthless. Why? because I;m oveweight. I think that it just is'nt fair honestly I dont even eat that much and have never had a so called"relationship with food" this is really driven me insane... My husband is very supportive and he hates to see me like this he's always tellin me how beautiful I am and that I look Fine...That he would;nt give me up for the world..but I feel like he knows that hes suppose to say that or else...I just want to be normal I feel like If I were even 155 I would look really nice and maybe began To enjoy life again.I Started Alli in december and just could'nt handle the way it made me feel, Constipation, oily gas< I even stopped havin sex afraid of a side effect....had a couple during to be truthful.But I'm going to at least finish the bottle starting tomorrow and hopefully everyone will here about my success story GooD luCK to EVERYONE........

Wow - I felt like I was reading my own entry.  I am a lot shorter and heavier, 5'3", 235 pounds, but feel EXACTLY the way you do.  I HATE myself and what I have become.  I, too, feel worthless and ashamed. 

I would have said the same.  I would say that I eat right or had a relationship with food.  HOWEVER, these past few weeks have been a real eye opener for me.  I find logging SO tedious but it has been a MAJOR education for me.  Where I thought I was doing well, I wasn't.  I would NEVER have said I was an emotional eater and yet, thanks to my husband, it was brought to my attention that I was eating when I was having a nervious breakdown.  I was not ever really aware I was doing it. 

Mike is the same.  Always calling me gorgeous and complimenting me.  I do think that he is sincere and would LOVE to see myself through his eyes.  But I know what I see and how I feel.  He also does not know how to handle my depression, especially when he does not see what is upsetting me so much.  He is as supportive as he can be,

As far as the TEs, they get better over time.  You learn what to avoid and what to eat.  Soon you will know when to expect them because you will know you ate badly, if you even decide to gamble it. 

Sex - well, mine has been better since I began losing weight and getting more active.  I am not all better or anything but I am feeling better about myself and, therefore, better about life.

Good Luck To You and do this for you and nobody else. For the first time in a long time, make this all about you. Be selfish for your own sake.

Hi Cherishmemore,

I understand how you feel and how difficult it is to change your thoughts about how you look. The truth is that feeling this bad could be part of the reason why things aren't changing for you. You may not love how you look, but it's okay to accept that it is what it is and it's going to take time for it to change. When you begin focusing on your weight you can often feel heavier than before you began. You have to focus on your eating and activity every day so it's normal to think that you would see some sort of a payoff in your shape, but it doesn't happen that quickly. You need to go through the motions and do not look to see any changes for at least 3 months. You can avoid mirrors for this time and weigh every other week if that helps take some of the pressure off.

This plan requires that you stick with your fat grams. When you have too little this can negatively impact your weight and too much can cause the unwanted oily gas that you experienced. Have you been keeping track of your fat? Are there any places where there may be hidden fat that you did not account for?

Let me know the answers to these and I'll help you make this work,

Betty Kovacs, MS, RD