Thanks for the kind words Leslye. For a time we kept a diary on one of her end tables in the living room and everybody signed it when they were there. We each jotted down brief notes about what we had done, such as brought ice cream for mom, sit on the porch and enjoyed the sunshine, etc. Still, it didn't seem to comfort her. I would sit down with her and show her the dates that everybody was there, but as she didn't remember she seemed doubtful. Dementia is a hard thing to deal with. Like her doctor said, she doesn't realize that she has a memory problem and that makes it even worse. Maybe we should start signing the diary again. It didn't seem to do much good so we all sort of stopped. Well, we stopped mainly because one brother, who seldom came, suddenly voiced his opinion that the rest of us were trying to make him look bad! He and another brother exchanged words and it sort of took the initiative out of keeping the book. It was starting to cause family tensions and it didn't seem to help mom. I probably need to find a support group because I could probably get some good ideas from other people who are dealing with this issue too. I know that diet is important, but in mom's case, she doesn't eat much of anything and what she does eat isn't always healthy. She is still mobile and we can't force feed her. The doctor says to let her eat what she wants to eat at her age. As she can't be coaxed to eat anything that she doesn't want that is pretty much what we have to do anyway. I think it would help if my sister or I lived closer to her, but I am 55 miles away and my sister is about 100 miles away. My brothers are close by, but in most cases men just don't get as involved as women do. Daughters are better caregivers than sons usually. I had to almost demand that one of my brothers go by and see that she has her medication every day as she was not taking it. She has high blood pressure and just stopped taking her meds which put her at high risk for a stroke or heart attack. I know she is old at 86 years old, and could have either at any time, but still, why not try to prevent it if possible, or at least lessen the severity of a stroke? The brothers don't seem to get the importance of her getting her meds, or either they are just too 'busy' to bother with it. The brother that I asked to go by and give her the meds lives all of 5 minutes from her. And they make up such lame excuses. It seems that her blood pressure med is making her dizzy, which is not unusual. They opt for stopping the meds. Crazy. I opt for calling her doctor and asking him to change her meds. I know that people often have to try more than one blood pressure med to find the one that is best for them to take. She needs a patch to help her with her memory loss and it is very expensive at $256 per month. She has no prescription drug plan so she has to pay for it herself. The brothers argue that as the med will most likely only slow down her memory loss and will not likely restore it that there is no point in giving it to her. I think that is ridiculous. If they had to pay for it maybe they would have an argument. But I think that if it is helping her at all it is worth it. Bottom line...it is costing nobody but her. Of course, that is a chunk coming out of her small nest egg every month, but so what. I guess it takes away from what they might inherit one day. Oh, gosh, I am rambling. And of course you can pray for me...for us...for mom. Please do. Mom has always been a sweet, caring woman and has never harmed or hurt anybody her entire life. Even now she is still sweet natured and pleasant. At least her dementia hasn't stolen that from her...from us...yet. I pray it never does.
I am doing a tiny bit better. Still struggling with the issues of food. Eating disorders are hard to control during times of stress. I am a binge eater, especially under stress. I don't purge though! I just keep stuffing it in. That is at the root of my weight problem. I actually stay hungry all the time. It must be more psychological than actual physical hunger though because it isn't normal to feel hungry all the time. I can actually eat all the time if I don't control myself. I was doing much, much better before all of this stress came on me. I will get over this hump though with the help of my dear, dear Alli friends.
LIz
Begin date: 2/14/08
SW-----------177
CW-----------160
GW-----------120 (or less...I'm short and round)
"When life knocks you to your knees.....start praying.
**Einstein said: Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.***