Hello. I just started all of this today, after picking up everything I needed over the past few days. (Stationary Bike, new groceries, Alli). Unfortunately I couldn't muster up the courage to buy a scale, not yet. I am not sure how much I weigh exactly, but I am sure it is 200+. Terrified and discouraged by scales. Hasn't been one allowed in the house for 5 years. ;o; I'm 5'4.
I'm 19 (20 next month) and I've had diabetes (type 1) since I was about 9. Weight loss is very hard for me, because while I really want to do it, I really need support & encouragement, and I've been big my whole life. I get bored so easily. I've really only got my parents for that needed support, and... my dad is stick-thin and loves to buy things like ice cream and cookies and fried foods. Thankfully I generally don't even like that stuff anyway. But I still would eat fried foods nearly every night for dinner since that is what we make for him. My mom always is very good with helping me the first few days I try to start a diet, and then isn't. I am honestly hoping the "treatment effects" I'd risk having from going off course on Alli will be like bottled will-power I don't have or can't get from the people around me.
I think I'm starting off easier than most people in terms of diet, but diabetes is well known for hard weight loss. But in turn because of my diabetes, I already only drink diet drinks and I'm really not a fan of sugary food. Cakes, ice cream, cookies.. maybe I'll crave a small bite every month or so, but sweet things generally taste sickeningly sweet to me thus I don't like them. I do crave candy sometiems, but not chocolate - I'm not a fan of chocolate. I'd generally want something like, a jolly rancher. I already prefer baked types of chips over others. I love vegetables - mmm, I love grilled peppers and mushrooms! I actually couldn't eat those a lot because my dad hates veggies and we basically buy the food for him. I know that sounds bad - it's not what it sounds like. My dad is a sweetheart. He works very hard - carpenter - all day so anything he eats just melts away, so he just doesn't think about things like that. Hes a typical southern boy and loves fried foods and doesn't like a whole lot of veggies. My mother and I don't eat a whole lot - we eat dinner and snack for the rest of the day.
I bought an entire separate food supply for me though, and it's all healthy things. I think the hardest part for me at first is going to be eating breakfast & lunch. Generally I would wake up, not eat for 5-7 hours then eat dinner (and usually too much because of how hungry I was by then). Another thing will be the nighttime. This is when I will cave most often, I think. I am generally up very late, I have always been this way - 1-5 AM is the usual for me, despite (all natural) sleep aids I am currently taking (and everything else I've tried in the past). I'm just an insomniac and I hate sleeping. I think everyone knows how hard it is not go to snack at night. I really need to find out some good snacks I can eat at night because I know this is going to be my weak point.
I don't have a very specific goal in mind for what I want to lose. Maybe this is bad, but with my personality type I'm not so sure. I often set goals and fail them, and do better when I just do what I can (and usually do reach or go over the goal I subconsciously set). I just want to feel and look a little better. I carry my weight well in the face and stomach - it's the arms and thighs that are the problem. My general goal is to lose as much as I can - healthily - by the Christmas holidays. I want to visit my boyfriend then. I want to feel good about myself for that, because I don't now.
I... alright, this is a very long post. I apologize. It's better fit for a journal entry I guess, but who would see that when I have no friends here yet? :(