Today was my weigh in. I gained 2 pounds. I can't complain, because I know how much I ate this week. It seems I've been taking a few steps forward and a few steps back for the past 3 months. It seems like summer time presents all kinds of opportunities to overeat--church socials, barbeques, homemade ice cream. I've got to learn how to deal with (and enjoy) these things without going overboard.  Mostly, I need to learn to not stay overboard once I've gone overboard.  It's getting a little old, but I'm not going to give up. I'm almost out of alli, so I'm starting to conserve--only taking it 1 or 2 times a day.

I'm having one of those days. I love being a stay-at-home mom and being with my kids. I love having all of them home for the summer. But I'm having one of those days where they are just tearing my nerves up.  We've dealt with throw up, 3 spilled drinks (including coffee on the pillowcases I JUST finished embroidering), an injury (which included a chipped tooth and a split lip), and countless arguments.  It probably doesn't help that I'm dealing with a migraine. I finally decided they needed a project to distract them, so we decided to decorate sun visors--you know, the cheap foam ones. So out came the markers, gems, stickers, and feathers. WARNING: Turn off the ceiling fan BEFORE you open the feathers. They had a blast, and I think it helped to settle all of us down a little bit.  If I can just hang in there until naptime! They are ALL taking a nap today. I know I'm going to miss them terribly when school starts back next month. At least I'll still have 2 of them at home.  My 4 year old informed me last week that she "can't wait to start homeschool again" when the older kids go back to school.  I love my life! :-) I just need to get the weight portion of it back under control. I know I've come a long way, but I still have a long way to go.

Go drink some water, and have a wonderful day.

Lynne - Thanks for the encouragement.

Toni - Are you out there? Hope your party went well.

Arpy - Sure miss you, girl. Hope you can check back in soon and let us know how you're doing.

 OK. So today I was looking through my records and realized that I've been stuck fluctuating between the high 140's to low 150's for over 2 months now.  Grrr... I guess I didn't realize it had gone on that long. That's ridiculous! I feel like I've been able to get back on track this week (whoohoo!). The biggest achievement was making myself exercise every day this week (my goal is 5x/week). I gave myself a nice long lecture this afternoon and issued myself a personal challenge for the month of August.  I've got to get serious about this. I'm all psyched up to lose 7 pounds during the month of August. And, of course, I've now been presented with my first obstacle.  My husband told me tonight that his sister and her family are coming for the weekend.  Now don't get me wrong--I'm absolutely thrilled that they are coming. We've been begging them to all summer. My sister-in-law is a hoot, and I love her dearly. (She's a little sensitive about her weight, though. She's about 5'7", weighs 103, and hates when people comment about how skinny she is, because she just can't gain weight.  Cry me a freakin' river!) Anyhow, I'm not saying that my sister-in-law is an obstacle. I am saying that having company always seems to present multiple opportunities for overeating.  You know, you get to talking and before you know it you've polished off a bag of chips and a plate of cookies. I'm really going to have to watch myself and guard against mindless eating. The problem is that not once since I started the alli program have I stayed on track in a social situation. I'm in serious need of accountability here.  You guys don't cut me any slack this weekend.  Make me be accountable for my actions. I'm going to try my hardest, and, Lord willing, I'll have a good report for you on Monday morning. I hope you all have a wonderful weekend. Don't forget the water. :-)

 tap. tap, tap...is this thing on?

Cripes, I've been making posts and nothing was showing up. I have the feeling it was my weight loss ticker.

Lynne, I'm here, my posts just weren't showing up!

Jen,

How about a plate of veggies and non-fat dip and fruit instead of the chips and cookies?

Or, you could always open a bag of the fat free chips.

Toni,

Where are you? Doing okay?

 Jen, I agree with Deb, a nice veggie and fruit tray with low fat or fat free dip and fat free chips sounds like a plan.

Deb, glad to see you back, sorry about your posts. Good for you girl on the weight you've lost.

Ok, so I had my first aquatic therapy session, (did I tell you this already?) it was amazing and I'm looking forward to more. I talked to my doctor yesterday and we had to adjust my hbp meds again cuz it's been running a bit high. I also talked to her about my weight. I told her that the lack of physical activity is killing me. I feel like I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place and it's really getting on my last nerve.
So, at my next appt which is aug. 22 right before I leave for darien lake we are going to talk about a pill that she thinks may help me, not that phentermine cuz it will jack up my bp but this other one that she says helps curb your appetite. I'm all for it. she wants to make sure we get my bp under control first so I told her I want to start making notations in my chart that we are working on my weight. My health insurance covers some weight loss plans, fitness centers, weight watchers. But I feel like at my age 44 and the lack of activity is hindering my loss even though I watch what I eat. So we will see what happens.

Have a great weekend and Jen, just have a good time with your company.

Toni, where are you girl?

Lynne

Lynne - Glad aquatic therapy went well. I'm also glad to hear your dr. is going to help you in the weight loss area.

Deb/Lynne - Thank you all for the good advice. We had a wonderful time this weekend. I did well--maybe not quite as well as if we didn't have company, but far better than I've ever done before. (And considering I started yesterday, I did great! Not sure what's going on w/my hormones--only been 4 weeks since my last T.O.M. I usually go at least 6 weeks, and this time it just popped up out of nowhere w/NO warning.) My sister-in-law and I took the kids shopping.  Lots of sales today. I found this dress at JC Penney. Have you guys ever looked at a dress on the hanger and thought it was ok and then tried it on and been blown away? Well, that happened to me today.  Cute. 75% off. Size 10. I put it on. My waist shrunk and the girls perked up and looked 10 years younger! My husband is going to be drooling when he sees me in it tomorrow. We may just be late for Sunday School! ;-)

I did something pretty stupid this afternoon.  We were going to have chicken for dinner before our company left.  I rubbed the chicken, put it in the smoker, and turned the smoker on.  It wasn't until almost 2 hours later that I learned the smoker was not plugged in. Grrr... I hate when I do dumb stuff like that.  So we ended up at Cracker Barrel for dinner.  I don't know if you guys are familiar with that place--down home Southern cooking. Comfort food. Mmmm.... I think I did ok, though. Grilled chicken, corn, fried apples. I took my alli, so I guess I'll know if I did ok sometime in the next 24-36 hours.

I hope you guys all enjoy the rest of your weekend.

Toni - Are you ok? Hope everything is going well.

 Jen, sounds like you had a great weekend. To bad about the smoker but you got to go out to eat. I had a pretty good weekend. Went to a friends for her 40th, my sisters, mom and my kids. She has an in ground pool practically had to drag my boys out to get something to eat. Lots of kids so I didn't go in the pool. Did ok with the eating, nice grilled chicken and some cole slaw. Stayed away from the cake.

Yesterday was my nephew's 2nd b-day so we went to my sister's house. Had pizza and wings, totally blew it yesterday. Then last night I snacked on a few more wings, but oh well.

I drank a ton of water, don't know if it counts considering I had wings.

Where are you Toni?

Lynne

 i blow it last nite...it was my frist nite back in town from vacation i had the steak at dennys, ehhh i didnt eat it all and i got veggies with it....and i didnt lose any weight this week either but i lost a few inches my jeans r fitting on my but better and im loving it.  my bf keeps saying he just wants me to take care of my self and he doesnt care what i look like he just loves me no matter what.    god i love him..

 Lynne,

Don't beat yourself up...Just get back to eating better today.

I'm down another .8lb...AARRGGHHH. Seems that's my new weight loss amount - WHEN I lose weight. *sigh*

I guess it's better than a gain or no loss at all. Frustration is setting in. I did drop my calories/fat starting today. I'm hoping to see a better loss next week.

Went shopping over the weekend and bought some new clothes. It was so nice buying a SIZE 10 and not having to squeeze myself into my clothes (formerly size 16).

Tops are down to a size large, formerly size XXL.

 Deb - I know it's hard, but don't get frustrated.  You've done such a good job. I know how much it stinks to be so close to your goal and yet still feel it is sooooo far away.  I also know how great it is to see those smaller numbers on the clothes you bought.  The dress I bought this weekend was a 10. Before alli my 18's were too tight. As for the tops, I'm down to a medium, but that's because "the girls" have all but abandoned me.  I checked out your profile today. Are you really in New Bern? I live in Lenoir County. If the weather doesn't change, we'll end up sweating off those last few pounds. Anyhow, chin up. You can do this.

 Hi Neighbor (Jen)!

Yes, I live in New Bern, right on the border of Havelock.

I wish I could get into a size 10 dress. Penney's had some really cute dresses yesterday for about $10.00 and size 10 was the largest size they had, but the twins weren't going to fit into the top. 8^(.

We'll have to look around the board and see if anyone else is local and have a big party when we all meet goal weight!

I started out at 1800 calories as recommended, then went to 1600 as recommended. I'm going to try 1400 and see what happens. When I hit the gym again when school starts, I'll go back up to 1600.

 Deb - I had good luck at Penney's this weekend.  My sister-in-law was looking for school shirts for her son. She has to shop big & tall for him (he's 6'4" and wears 2-3x), and she found what she was looking for dirt cheap @ Penney's. I guess everyone was taking advantage of the tax free weekend, because I've never seen the mall in Kinston that crowded! I dropped down to 1400 plan when I restarted last month.  I had never been able to hit 1800 w/out eating the wrong things anyhow. 1400 seems much more attainable for me. I got back into exercising last week as well. My goal is 5x/week.

Lynne - Did you have therapy again today? How's it going.

I saw where Toni posted on another thread today, so at least we know she's alive and well.

 Hello all,

Sounds like you all are having a good summer so far. And the dress sizes are down, you go girls. I wish I could say the same thing but unfortunately I'm still stuck. I've been with alli since January but to be perfectly honest I haven't been watching like I should. I start out doing really good, eating the right things, weighing, measuring and all that stuff then it seems like I can never get past that initial 10lbs. The lack of physical activity is killing me. When I lost 75lbs 6 yrs. ago I took the phentermine pill. I thought it was great, but now that I look back I was actually stariving myself cuz I wasn't eating. I had absolutely no appetite, don't get me wrong, I did eat just not as much. The weight seemed to just fall off. I took them for 9 months and then the doctor took me off them cuz I lost 17lbs. in one month. I didn't learn how to eat healthy back then and now that I'm with alli and talking to you all I now realize that I need help getting myself started.

Even though I have all the "stuff" to get started my eating habits are not right. I looked into my insurance to see what they pay and I have to look into a few things but I may ask my doctor to recommend a nutritionist to help me get on the right track. I thought I was doing good but I just don't lose weight.
There are times when I'm doing real good then I figure, Oh, I 've been good so I deserve a good snack, a half bag of low fat chips, yeh, that's real healthy. I'm not sure what my problem is, I hate being fat, I look in the mirror and I want to literally throw up. I have never been this heavy and I really can't stand myself.

Physical therapy is going pretty good. I think it's a good start up on some physical activity. I found out that a gym near the doctor's office has aquatic exercising. I have a free 7 day pass so I think I may check into it.
As far as my eating, I really need some help.

I'm so happy and proud of you all for losing all that you have. Keep up the good work. I'll talk to you soon.

Toni, where are you girl?

Lynne

 Lynne - I just answered another of your posts, but I feel like you could stand to read it again. You are such a wonderful person--intelligent, caring, funny. I know you aren't happy with how you look, but that doesn't change who you are.  I understand not liking how you look, but don't ever forget that what you look like on the outside doesn't change who you are on the inside. I hope you can get to a nutritionist. That's something I'd like to be able to do. Also, I think that you being able to get a little more active with the aquatic therapy may help lift you spirits.  I hope so. I hate to hear you so down on yourself.

 Thank you Jen, I love hearing your input. You know, I am adult enough to admit when I feel defeated and need help. I have been struggling, like some many do with this weight for such a long time that you eventually have to ask yourself why it is working. So, when I go see my primary doctor at the end of the month I will ask her to refer me to a nutritionist for some extra help. She also told me at my last visit that if we get my hbp under control that there is a pill that she is willing to give me that won't affect my bp that will curb my appetite.

I know what your saying is true, I am the same person inside but if I'm not happy with the outside the inside gets all jumbled up. When I was younger I didn't worry about weight, it wasn't until after I started having kids, after I miscarried my first pregnancy seems like all heck broke loose. I was drinking, and eating up a storm and really not caring. The only thing I cared about was getting pregnant again and keeping it safe. It was after my boys were born, in 2002 when I split from my husband that I lost all that weight. I looked at pictures a few weeks ago, OMG I looked so good. I kept that weight off for 6 yrs.

It's sorta depressing to look in the mirror and all I see is fat, fat and more fat. So, now, because I'm older and having had the back surgery it's time to call in the people who can get me started.

Anyway, enough about me. You all have a great weekend and go drink some water.

Lynne

 Lynne - I know how you feel.  I have struggled with my weight most of my adult life, but I also had a miscarriage, and it seems like after that it just got worse. I went from struggling with being overweight to struggling with obesity.  I wonder if there is a connection there. I've always been an emotional eater. Some things just seem to trigger me more than others. I've told you that I struggle with the decision we made to not have any more children, and sometimes it becomes overwhelming.  Those are the times when I feel most like eating everything I can get my hands on.  Like that is going to somehow help me feel better. That's definitely my biggest emotional trigger.

All - I hope you are all having a good weekend. Today we took the kids to this place that has putt putt, go carts, playground, etc.  It also has a rock wall, and I climbed it! I was sooo excited. It's something I've wanted to do for a long time. It was such a great feeling, because I know I couldn't have done that a year ago--wouldn't have even attempted it.  If felt so strong up there. Of course, once I got back on the ground, my arms and legs felt like jello, but that ok.  Just making it to the top and hitting the bell (which didn't work--go figure!) was such a thrill. My husband was going to get pictures, but my camera battery died. Oh, well.  We'll have to go back and do it again some time.

Enjoy the rest of your weekend, and don't forget to drink lots of water.