Hi BJ,
Thanks for writing and welcome to the alli community!
From what you've told me about your tendency to be obessive/compulsive or have an addictive-type personality, I would say that you're exercise program does raise a red flag. Ideally, you should be working out on most days of the week for 30-60+ minutes per session. It is perfectly fine to work out 2 separate times per day, as long as they are not both high intensity or long-duration exercise sessions and that you do not do this chronically. In other words, it is fine to walk 30 minutes in the morning and then another 30 in the evening; or walk 30 in the morning and then perform Taebo 2x per week in the afternoon. It can be counter-productive to perform extensive-duration exercise (cardio) on a regular basis, especially with no rest days in-between.
I would encourage you to try to take it down a notch, if possible. Exercising too much can be just as damaging as not exercising at all....it just isn't as noticeable! Begin to fill your typical "extra" workout minutes with other worth-while activities, such as reading time or quiet time with your kids, baking a neighbor dinner or writing some "just because" notes! This will not only make someone else feel great, it will also begin to fill you with joy and contentment with who you are as a person... and not just what you look like!
Do your best to focus on the positives about yourself... such as the fact that you have a great husband, two wonderful kids and that you are strong and healthy!
I encourage you to continue to exercise...and yes, you can push yourself and make your workouts count. You can even workout 2x per day....BUT, not EVERY day and make sure to make at least one of those days a day off! Completely off!
Best in health to you and keep me posted with your progress either on this forum or on the "Discuss your concerns with a specialist" and click on the "fitness forum"!
Your friend in fitness,
Kelli