Yesterday I completely went off the plan. I don't know what came over me. Okay, maybe I do... major PMS cravings mixed with some anxiety tossed with a little bit of hopelessness. That's what. Also, my feet have been bothering me.

I am going to PT for tendinitis in my Achilles tendon (about 2-3 inches above the heel in the back of the foot) and the PT has apparently aggravated the front of my feet, that spot where your foot bends up. So whenever I take a walk (not super long, just 3-4 miles) it hurts and aches for the rest of the day into the next. This injury just never seems to actually go away, just come and go.

Anyway, as I said, I completely went off the plan. To keep myself honest I am posting what I ate here. This should shame me into not doing that again! Kind of ironic that Yom Kippur starts tonight (for those of us who are Jewish) and the purpose is to atone for your sins. I'm atoning! LOL. And at least I won't be eating much tomorrow since it's a fasting holiday. Let's just hope I don't pig out at sundown due to starvation!

Breakfast: skim milk 4 oz, Raisin Bran Crunch 1 C

(started out good!)

Lunch: Panera Bread: tomato soup, baguette, half Mediterranean Veggie sandwich

Snack: 12 Pepperidge Farm Raspberry Milano cookies

Dinner: Macaroni and Cheese, Stouffer's 12 oz, 3 pieces of bread w/margarine

Snack: Dairy Queen Reese's PB Cup small blizzard, 1/2 hot dog

See where I went wrong! Oh so wrong!! I ate TWICE as many calories as I should, 2.5 x as much fat and 3 x as much saturated fat. Ugh. Disgusting.

I'm back on track today with a Slimfast Meal bar for breakfast and a yogurt and an Amy's frozen veggie meal for lunch.

E

 WOW!  you don't mess around!   you're just like me - except i would have eaten the whole box of cookies!   i'm a big time binger!  any side effects?  sounds like you're doing great - keep it up!  your weight and goals are the same as mine i think.  i started at 167 and want to get to 135.   just started a week ago, so i'm hoping for the best.  i have a vacation scheduled in dec.  and i'm hoping to get a big chunk off by then.    good luck, and i think writing what you ate down for all to see is good therapy!!!!!   annmarie

 We all slip once in a while. The important thing is to get right back on the plan and not make slipping an excuse to quit completely. After a few good days, you'll probably find you haven't done much damage at all. I'm struggling myself right now, having just reached the 50-pound loss mark. I'm sure it psychological - like I'm saying to myself that 50 is a HUGE loss and might be enough - but I still have about 20 to go. Just put your one-day slip behind you -- none of what you ate feels or tastes good eough to overcome the satisfaction you'll have when you reach your weight-loss goal!

 50 lbs!!! that is amazing!!!  losing 5 is a challenge for me! 

Hello E,

I get an ice-cream cone from McD or DQ every single day, and then I don't feel like I'm being 'deprived'-----we all need calcium and I have the cone as my dairy exchange as I don't drink milk.  I've gone off 2 or 3 times for one day, I write everything down and get right back on it the next am as I don't want to blow my program.  Keep coming back!  Tampabayb

amcoryat

There were only 15 cookies in the package so 12 was practically the whole thing! I couldn't stomach the last 3. No side effects because I didn't take the alli. Otherwise I probably would've spent a whole day in the bathroom!

I used to binge quite a bit (never bulimic though... just binging!). It was a way to emotionally zone out, calm my anxiety and then zone out physically with the sugar buzz. Not healthy physically or emotionally!

I figure if I bare it all I won't do it again. So that's my deal with myself. If I have another really off target day (not just a little extra snack or something) I will share it with everyone. LOL.

E

 Thanks all (AnnMarie, Deb & Tampa) for the words of encouragement. PMS was definitely a factor (get cravings, anxiety and all that good stuff). But I also think Deb had a point about the psychological thing. I had just reached 159 that morning for check-in and started at 170. So I was in the 150s for the first time in a long time. Maybe it freaked me out somehow.

A few years ago I did WW. I started that at 160 and got to 144. I started noticing my boobs looked a bit saggy at that weight and I didn't like that. I think that somehow triggered me to overeat again and skyrocket past 160 to 170. I don't have to deal with that issue yet, but know I will if I keep at this. But hey, I'm 41, I've had 2 kids and nursed them for a total of 41 months (18 months for one, 23 months for the other) so what do you expect!

E

 hi all - for me psychological issues have been significant in my weight gain.   i was married for 21 years to a man that wanted me to be perfect all the time.  i was never overweight, god forbid!   big shock, he divorced me for someone younger.   after years of making sure i was the perfect weight (including binge and purge), i ate and ate and ate.  i decided i wanted to meet someone who would love me even if i was overweight.   so, here i am, more than 30 lbs heavier and i have found that someone.   i want to lose the weight now for him, but mostly for me.   i love this plan and i thank everyone on these message boards for the support!!!  annmarie

 E...  ok i must confess, i laughed when i read your list of what you ate!!..still sitting here chuckeling...ok is it out of your system now??how did you feel??   see, pre alli, you wouldnt have even stopped to think about that!! now you know better and feel bad about it.. ok.. you now get a clean slate. pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and do the right thing today... nobody said we are perfect... today is a new day.. you have the tools and you know how to use them!!  good luck.. kathy

 Ha, yes, Kathy, it is out of my system now for sure. Before alli I had days much worse than that! Sad to admit, but true. I did feel bad, usually the next morning when I woke up and realized what I'd done to my body the day before. This episode gave me the same bad feeling in the morning and I realized that I really liked NOT feeling like that in the mornings. I'd gone weeks at a time not regretting what I'd eaten the day before and that felt good. I'm definitely back in the game now.

E

Annmarie, I am so glad you are in a happy situation now. How hard (impossible!) to be perfect in order to feel loved and accepted. No wonder it led you to binge and purge.

The best to you,

E