I'VE BEEN BAD!
Thank God its a new day because Friday evening and all day Saturday I ate everything that was extremely bad! Deep fried burritos, french fries..zingers! Oh my goodness, and no gym whatsover, nor did I have water.
But ladies.I'm here to be truthful, so we can all learn from one another and encourage each other through this. I know today is a new day and although I ate terrible yesterday, I can just get right back on that wagon. Its like being a drug addict...you just need to pick yourself back up and try again. Its not easy to completely change it takes work & willpower. Controlling "self" is not easy, but yes it can be done. "YES I CAN!"
Today, I thought about how I LOVE food..and when I eat something, I enjoy it SO much its like a relationship I have with these foods, and while I'm eating something like a, lets say a McDonalds Has brown (I had this morning)..I wanted to savor every moment of every bite..but then, my husband being the goofy man that he is..kept interrupting my "moment" with my Hash Brown. Annoyed the crap out of me!
After I ate my hash brown I took a long hot bath and thought about my past and where did this passion for food begin?? I was always thin as a young girl, well up to the 5th grade, then in 6th grade I began to pack on the weight. So what happened that summer between the 5th grade and 6th?? Well, two major things in my life..my dad went to Prison, and I went through puperty. My dad and I were extremely close, he was everything to me, so him leaving was devasting.
So, when I got out out from my hot bath, I told my husband all of this that I realized: that I think..what has happened to my eating habits due to my life change during the summer of the 5th grade, I must have turned to food as a comfort.
I told my husband about how I felt earlier when I was trying to enjoy my hasbrown this morning, and he was interrupting the moment...that I realize I have developed what seems to be a relationship with food. That I've been having an affair for years! My husband said I must end my affair now! I told him but food makes me feel better...he said, he loves me and he can help me feel better. Then he looked at me and pointed his finger and sternly said, "YOU NEED TO END THE AFFAIR NOW!"
We laughed and giggled about it all, but there is some truth to all this I'm sure. You know we've all heard this..that many turn to food for comfort. And I'm glad I took the time to think about where it may have all began for me.
We're supposed to eat food to refuel our bodies, and thats it...I need to try and reprogram myself. I've been administering it the wrong way, to refuel my emotions.
My dad did come back home after 4yrs and I did get to go visit him once a month while he was locked up, but lots of things changed for my life back home. But enough of that, the point here is that I that I realize where it all began, so now i need to use what I have learned and try and help myself back out, back to the person God created me to be. Back to the core, before Life came along and added its nasty ingredients of "issues".
I wanted to share this with you ladies, should any of you feel guilty for having a bad eating day, and feel disappointed in yourself as I did this weekend. Its OKAY, we just need to get back on that wagon just like an addict.
I already started off my day by eating that Hashbrown, which is not good, but..I'm STILL going to TRY and get back on track.
IF we dont try, we'll never get there..so we must try and try again. Dont GIVE UP!
I've got my gym clothes on, and hope that I do go to the gym today!
This is my life, and its time to get back in the passenger seat and DRIVE Down the RIGHT ROAD that God intended me too! I know everything happens for a reason, but we can learn from it and make a better life for ourselves!
"YES I CAN!"
Start Date: October 21st
SW: 200 Oct 21st
Nov 11th 194.4
Nov 18th 192.6
Challenge Goal Weight by Jan 1st: 179
1stGW: 172
Jessica

Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in ALL your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.