Hi everyone,

                   Just wanted to know if anyone else has someone that just can't seem to let them diet.  Every time I start doing really well and am sticking to my diet here comes someone that will not let me say no.  I was at a party and someone , who knows that I am on Alli, kept insisting that I try the cake she made.  One piece won't hurt you, she said. But what she doesn't understand, is yes it will. She is not the only one that does that either. I know that  they mean well and honestly  think that one bite won't hurt but that is where it starts. Good thing I do have some willpower and other support. Thanks for the vent.

                          Jodi

 I call these people food pushers. 

Did the cake baker have a child?  I would take her cake.  Find her child.  Set the cake down close to them and walk away.  You made her happy by taking her cake but didn't blow your diet.

Keep up what you are doing.

Terri

 YES!  My husband - I would have been fine last night with a bit of salsa, but he wanted 'more food' - so then ordered a pizza and made me go and pick it up with him then casually while I was driving opened the box for both of us to see.  Grrr...  I REALLY didn't want it, but it was in the house - I limited myself to 2 pieces, but I can completely understand.

It's a catch 22 with being married to him and trying to lose weight because he 'wants' me to lose weight, but still expects me to continue eating out and with him like we always have.  He thinks that the ONLY thing that I need to do is have a little bit more activity.  I am very frustrated...

 Jodi,

We all have those people.  Most of mine are at work.  At least it is summer break (I'm a teacher) so I am not around them so much.  Now I just have to be strong at the family b-b-que.

Stay strong!

Hani

NHSkiGirl:

It's a catch 22 with being married to him and trying to lose weight because he 'wants' me to lose weight, but still expects me to continue eating out and with him like we always have.  He thinks that the ONLY thing that I need to do is have a little bit more activity.  I am very frustrated...

 Does it have to be Pizza?  Can you get him a small of his own and you decide to get a veggie pizza or ham and pineapple?

I am learning how to eat out and stay within the 15 grams of fat.

Yesterday, I ate salmon, seasonal veggies and a tiny bit of garlic mashed potatoes when we went out to an Ale House that will be on our faves list.

If you know the restaurant and it has a web site, post the question here and maybe I can help you with suggestions on what to eat.

Know if one dish comes with seasonal veggies and another comes with cole slaw, you can sub the veggies for the slaw.

Hope this helps.  Stay smart and strong

Terri

 Oh yes I can relate, my husband is the same way. I do really well and than he wants to go out to eat at places that are the worse. But if I suggect  a place to go it is always where he wants to go. I am really getting down on myself because seems like each week my weight creeps up and up.With gas and everything else going up it is hard to afford to get the alli capsules so I am trying it on my own and thats not good either. I am a 52 year old lost cause

 Oh, pjppjp, you are not a lost cause.  Your post made me feel sad.  Don't ever feel you are a lost cause.  You are trying and that's all the rest of us can ask.  Don't give up.  Hang in there.  There are lots of people who are counting on you to be there for them, to be healthy....and probably some people who are watching you...and when you lose weight it will give them the courage to lose weight too. Please don't give up.

There will always be people who will try to talk you into breaking your "diet".  There will also be times when it will work and you will take the bait, so to speak.  Just start planning the next meal to be within your targets and you'll be back on track.  You can do this with or without your husband's, or other people's, support.  You can always say "No thank you" and walk away.  If not, tomorrow will soon be here and it will be a better day.

Judy

Hi Everyone,

This is a very common problem with weight loss. Trying to figure out "why" people do or say things isn't going to help you. What will help is to learn how to express how you are feeling and what you need. You can do this by learning how to be assertive. Take a look at this for details http://www.coping.org/relations/assert.htm. We use this in my weight loss program and it's very effective. Unfortunately, this won't work on everyone so you will have to determine if it's appropriate or helpful to use this technique on the person who is sabotaging your efforts. You can always come on here to vent. No one is ever alone with this experience.

Betty Kovacs, MS, RD

 Ah, yes, they would be my parents.  Primarily my mother.  She means well, she really does, but I was raised in a house of "eaters."  Good home-made southern soul food almost every night, desserts after every one (usually some new decadent gooey treat), and when we didn't eat at home we would go out to eat and order a ton of food.  Seconds were encouraged and self control unheard of.  It's really sad when I think about it.  Now I'm trying to get this fat off my rear end (among other places) and they both expect me to eat just like we always have. I have a few friends that are guilty of being food pushers, too.  It's hard to work around them but at some point you are going to have to sit them down and kindly but firmly explain a few things (like how important this is to you, how hard it is to say no when they push food on you, how you are NOT going to be taking up any of their offers and that it's nothing personal,  and in my case how your health depends on doing well with this program) and then stick to your guns about it.  I had to and they haven't stopped cold turkey but it's not as bad as it was. Usually a look or verbal reminder will snap them back into my reality zone.  Good Luck and don't let them get you down.  You're strong. You can do it.

 Hi PJ,

I know exactly how you feel. I am the very same way. On Friday, June 13, 2008, I fell at work and rammed my left ribs into the back of a plastic chair. I hit so hard it took my breath away. Fortunately, I didn't break anything. When I went to my doctor a few weeks later because I was still in pain he looked at me and said that 213 pounds falling into the ribs should have broken something and that I was very lucky. I was so angry I wanted to slap him. I also get angry at my husband because he is exactly like yours. At the end of your post you said you are a 52 year old lost cause. Well, I feel the same way as you except I am a bit older, 55. The reason I took notice of your post was also because you had the date of 08/08/08 on it. That happens to be my birthday and I had hoped that I would have lost all the weight by then. Well, guess what, not gonna happen. Anyway, don't let ANYONE make you feel that way. It is absolutely not right. Our husbands are supposed to care about us and help us feel better and, it seems like, yours and mine don't. I hope that you and I will feel better soon. We are members of the human race and deserve to be treated better than we are. I am going to pull myself up by the boots and tell myself that I can do this. I quit smoking after 35 years and I can lose this weight! Don't you let your husband or anyone else make you feel like a loser, you are NOT. I hope this helps. Certainly it has brought a reality into my world that I did not realize before. So, you have already helped me and I hope this helps you.

Sue V.

 Sue V.   I'm also a Leo, my birthday being 8/8 - I'll be 55 next month.  I have a husband that supports me in one hand and in the other will go to the store and bring me home fresh fruit, veggies AND a bag of Mikesell's chips and a container of french onion dip (a weakness of mine). 

DO I feel like a lost cause at times .. YEP .. that I do .. am I one, NOPE.  I'm worth EVERY penny I'm spending to get myself healthy :)

WE CAN DO THIS ... we are our own support circle.

 Hi Mrs Buckeye,

I love your saying about how God made a rough draft of men before creating the masterpiece of woman! Sure did make me smile. I don't think my husband deliberately sabotages but after 31 years of the same thing he just doesn't understand why things need to change, at least with me. I have heart issues and my weight does not help. I also get down on myself because I was able to give up smoking after all those years and yet I can't get rid of this weight. I have had some people say that quitting smoking is easier than losing weight and I might agree with that but it is still extrodinarily hard to quit an addiction. I almost gave up on this but then I had the accident at work. As cruel as the doctor was for saying that to me, it was true. It was the doctor saying that to me that got me back on here. I had stopped the Alli plan a few months back and had given up on this. I knew that it was not Alli's fault for my fall from grace but my own weakness to food. I had leveled out from losing and had not lost a pound in several weeks. I was angry and frustrated and just decided that I should not waste anymore money on this. Well, then the accident happened and the rest is history. I am back and WILL get rid of this weight. Anyway, thank you for the support, I really needed it!

 My doctor has always been on my case about my weight - I'm sure he means well by it - BUT I doubt he's ever seen a fat day in his life so how does he know what it's like to walk in my shoes (OR in a body where your thunder thighs make contact every time you walk ?? hahaha)

Last time I was there he was trying to push me joining WW .. I said .. SURE .. "you pay for it for me" and he just looked at me.  He couln't figure out why I didn't have money to pay for it.  SORRY doc ... I don't work for the phone co. any longer ... my pay stinks ... and we have bills up around our ears !!!

GGgrrrrrrr .. ok - enough about that :)

Keep in touch .... we'll do this and show them who wins !

 Hi!  Noticed the reference to the increase in Alli capsules.  I learned the last time I went in to get a refill, that the 60 capsules increased from $60 to $70.  A friend of mine found out that I can get 120 capsules at Cosco for $68, which was as good as the original price.  Going on your own is valliant, but from my 50 years of dieting experience, the encouragement and suggestions from Alli and it's users, are without a doubt the best I have had in years.  AND, the treatment effects you experience occasionally, keep you on track, even if you suffer from constipation!  Find a way, kiddo, it is well worth it.  I am down 22lbs so far.  Reached my "stuck" period, and am asking for suggestions.